Behind the Scenes of a Coaching Business with Kelsey Murphy

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, Let's just, let's not even [: 00:01:00

It doesn't matter whether you're a consultant or coach. It doesn't matter what you are. What matters is what result can you get for people? What transformation are you trying to help people with? Like, let's focus on how can you be helpful for people? Can you, can you say that? Can you define how you are helpful for people in a really clear way?

Because I think That's where I want us to start.

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isten in. Yes. And thank you [: 00:02:00

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coconut water.

And yeah, yeah. And I do

that as like my,

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you know, with all those, all those nano micro tiny plastic things.

I'm like, uh, it's uh, yeah, it's, it's gotten me, but welcome for coming in and having a beverage with us today. And

ed to have you here cause we [: 00:03:00

Cause it was when people were coming to me and, and saying like, Oh, well, well, you're a coach who teaches coaches. And I was like, I'm a coach since when? Like when, when did that happen? I was like, wait, what? Cause I had always seen myself as a consultant, you know, and I was somebody I'm like, yes, I teach people, but this word coach seemed a lot more, kind of.

e's a very different skills, [: 00:04:00

Right. Whereas like a coach, you're there for the long haul and you're there more to guide them to do it themselves versus like giving the solutions and walking away. And I was like, maybe in this online world, it's different. I'm not sure. And so I started researching and I started figuring these things out and I found Kelsey, the coach's coach.

And I was like, okay, help me out here. Let's figure this out. So did you like Fall into that, or was that kind of something that, just, just happened and expanded over time? Tell, tell me

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This is my expertise. I'm going to give you the top 10 things you need to be doing. I'm usually. And I'm just starting in a place where I'm like, hold on, let's define what like success actually looks like for you. And especially as like a business coach, that is like a big part of the conversation because sometimes people want to have like, you know, seven figure huge businesses where they're talking on stage and they're, uh.

you know, they're really growing and, and, and building a movement. And then other times people are like, no, I just want a quiet maybe multiple six figure business where I don't have to talk to anyone, but I get to just coach and do the dream. And like, it's like, okay, those are two different businesses then, like what we

ning to really identify that [: 00:06:00

Or they're building this business or they're speaking on the stage and all these things they. feel like you feel this envy and you're just like, wow, look it. They've got it all together. That must be like it that's, that's where I need to go. And so we just start going there. Like we just start being like, I can do it.

A lot of like ambitious, smart women, especially are like, I can do it. I'm just going to start building it. And it's like, wait, wait, hold on. Did you. Stop to check in and say, is this actually the dream? Like, and it might be, it might be, but it's important that we take a step back from all the beautiful posts on social media and things like that, you know, and really define what that looks like for us and then strategically build a plan towards that.

ing because it, I think it's [: 00:07:00

it was fun. It was college. [: 00:08:00

And so it was this, this little small, small, small business that she had owned and she had owned it for about 5 or 6 years. And then when I graduated, you know, my nerdy brain was like, I want to come and make that business so much more

profitable. You know, like the young guns kind of coming in. Like I

have all these ideas. And she was done with it at that point. It was so labor intensive for her. And, I still, I have a sister who's about 10 years younger than me that was just in about to graduate high school. She was like, I just want to be with her more. And so I was like, let me take it over. So I got to take it over for a year and like be immersed in this kind of like really labor intensive food service, uh, business and learned so much.

And it was [: 00:09:00

And, I was doing the entrepreneur thing. And I think that's what my heart always wanted to do. I tend to be someone who likes to go against the grain, not loudly, not like this. Feet stomping, but like, I'm like quietly bucking authority every single day in some sort of way. Right. and so, anyways, I did that for a year.

nd interviewed at like Every [: 00:10:00

I fell in love with the advertising job, mostly because like at that point, like there was dogs in the office and like ping pong and people wearing jeans and

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so grateful for. but I knew [: 00:11:00

So it was like one or the other there, like, and everybody had said, like, you can't do both. Like, you can work. And then you can take a break and go raise kids and then you can come back if you want. But I was just like, so sad about that. I was like, there's

etween, like these women are [: 00:12:00

Like you don't think it's worth it to like, have them like work part time hours and have their brilliant brain here, but then let them go be this mom and. I just, I knew that, man, I, I, I won't work out well here. Like I'm going to have too much of a voice. I'm going to be too frustrated with this. And I believe there's another way.

And, and I don't know what that is like, but there's got to be someone out here who's doing this better. And that's when I kind of stumbled into the online coaching world. I started just really going deep into the internet, you know, rabbit holes and finding people like. Marie Forleo and Danielle Laporte and Chris Carr and all those folks back in the day that were really the pioneers of building these online businesses for women.

age to quit my job. And then [: 00:13:00

And my husband was like, what are you doing? We had just gotten married like a year before that. And he was like, please, let's just like be normal people in London. I'm like, I'm, I can't, like, I have to

go to this weird, you know, and, and I went to this weird, uh, hotel that was in this weird area of town and it was like, you know, gross hotel, stale,

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depths of the

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Like it was just so, I came from this like work hard, play hard. World and advertising over to this world that was like, let's take a beat and figure out what you really want, who you really are, and let's build a life around that. And you can have money, you can have better relationships, you can have an amazing career built around things that you love, but you got to teach yourself how to do that.

while I'm like embarrassing [: 00:15:00

And then, you know, I just stuck with it and I continue to learn and I continue to hone in on what my, My niche was, and I did everything from like being a coach that helped people love their careers and find fulfillment at corporate jobs, and finding their passions while still working hard. And I did that and I spoke at places like Twitter and Facebook and I got to do run workshops there. And then after that, I, uh, started a podcast and I had people ask me how to start podcast. And so I did about a year or a year and a half of teaching and consulting on podcasting. people really loved that. I really loved that, but it probably wasn't until I was getting kind of like bombarded by coaches that were like, I want a coaching business like you have, like you have set it up.

only work about three days a [: 00:16:00

times more and it [: 00:17:00

And, and then, yeah. And then, so I've been doing that for, for many, many years now. And that's what people come to me for. Like if they are coaches wanting to start their coaching business, wanting to grow and scale their coaching business, I help them lean into that and make it profitable and sustainable and systematize it so that it's.

So, so that they can go out and do their thing. They can go out and communicate and do all the beautiful things that coaching does and brings to the world. Cause I really do believe in coaching, but I don't think that there's enough coaches out there teaching people how to run businesses and doing it transparently and being like, this is how mine did.

's talk about how this. Page [: 00:18:00

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Where's that So, you know, side of things. So I can't do this forever, but my only way out. At the time seemed like, okay, then I have to go corporate. Well, but that doesn't feel right either. Right. So you were finding all of these natural points of tension and you didn't just settle. Like you, you kept trying to find that place where, or make it yourself.

this business acumen to use, [: 00:19:00

Cause like what, what I had found as I was, you know, figuring out this, this coaching part, I didn't come into the online world with any of the baggage of the labels of this stuff, because I came with my own corporate baggage. I didn't need online baggage as well, but like so many people are against that word.

You know, even when I've invited people onto the podcast, because I have people on his guests and we talk about, you know, what does it look like to actually have an online business that supports your life? And then I have people on where we're like having inside coaching conversations and people are like, Oh, I love that idea, but don't, don't call me a coach.

Like I'm, I don't want to be labeled as that. Right. Because there's, there's like this, I don't know it. Well, you talk about like how it's unregulated. And so people have used it as like this, this dirty term. It's like, well, hang on. If we don't like it, then let's change it. You know, instead of hiding from it.

th sales and, you know, with [: 00:20:00

And, and here's my ham sandwich going, going like all the way around to say that it, it feels like that was kind of that big arc, right. Where you were like, I like this idea, but this part doesn't fit. I like this idea, but this, you know, part doesn't fit like, like your Goldilocks journey. Right. You know,

and it was like, okay, I, I, I enjoy these pieces, but.

There's still things that aren't, you know, they're not being done right. They're not transparent enough. There's not enough conversations around this. There's people who are saying, yes, you can be a coach, but it's my secret as to how, you know, I was like, I'm just going to sell you these flashy affirmations and, you know, the, these big posts online.

nances and, you know, how do [: 00:21:00

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the way that you phrase that. Yeah.

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so interesting.

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Right. It's like Marmite. It's like Marmite of online world, you know, but like a sales page or like, or like social media, you know, there's certain things that just causes great divide. And it seems like that's the case with this label coach.

And it's like, okay, well then. Let's just redefine it, you know, let's just set our own standards.

eate them for us. Let's make [: 00:22:00

Right. So I mean, and that's a lot of what you do inside of your programs is that you're like, well, this is how these things are made. And these are the things that we can talk about.

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let's, Let's just, let's not even address the coach word because it doesn't matter what kind of coach you are.

n how can you be helpful for [: 00:23:00

Because I think That's where I want us to start. I don't want us to start on what kind of coach am I? Should I be a coach? Should I be a consultant? Cause that thing doesn't like when I was hired by Marie, when I was hired by Kathy, when Twitter, Facebook, all these people came in, it wasn't because I was a specific kind of coach, it wasn't my title, right?

It was the things that I could come in and do to help them. Like, how can I come in and help them? Am I helping with retention? Am I helping people figure out what their niche is? Am I helping people to figure out how to create a business plan? Like, how can you be helpful? Like focus there first And then once you're so confident in that, once you become known for something there, once you become the go to person for that kind of stuff, it doesn't really matter what kind of coach you are. Like, it doesn't really matter if you're a coach or you're a consultant. You can call yourself whatever you want.

, you have an expertise or a [: 00:24:00

Like whatever your specialty is, that's what you start to lean into and you can ignore the coaching world, right? Because it is very unregulated. There is a lot of lofty softiness in that industry. And I agree, like it can feel, highly unregulated and it can feel. very generic and confusing at times.

It's like, so if, if you don't have a clear coaching path or a clear coaching title, then don't sit and stew on that, right? Let that one go and turn over to what's my specialty. What's my own personal expertise. What are the results I can help people get? What's the transformation I really lean into helping people, you know, achieve.

where you start to actually [: 00:25:00

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You know, and then your business actually can grow. It can evolve the way it wants to, as you continue to,

you know, because just because you're an expertise and you're wearing a certain hat, it doesn't mean you don't have multiple. It doesn't mean that it doesn't continue to grow, right? At, as, as new learnings come, as you have new experiences, you know, as new situations happen, it's not frozen in time and neither is your business.

m ever. And then they read a [: 00:26:00

And it's like, or if you're an expert in how the female body responds to certain triggers, then, Oh my goodness, look at all the things that you can do then.

And look at all the different angles and Oh, wow, we're actually realizing this is a whole new trigger. Oh, look, now here's a whole new product offering.

Here's a whole new angle of talk. Here's a whole new angle of episodes, you know,

of, of anything that, that you want. Right.

and a lot of that can be a way of, looking at, at this whole concept of, of niching, but it can also just kind of be a way of like freeing yourself. You know, I call it describing versus labeling, but I also like to look at like niching is just a way of putting your blinders on.

it's like, so for, for those [: 00:27:00

You can set it aside and come back to it later, or you can reject the concept and look at something else. and thinking about you as a human and all the things that you can specialize in is way more freeing than like, let me, you know, subjugate my business to this particular subcategory forever and ever and ever, and this is all I can ever be, you know, that is so bland.

That is so boring. Even, you know, your mom, if she was only ever one type of business and never would have also served food and never would have also done something different at night versus in the morning. Right. That business would have closed by noon, especially in a small town. It would have been done.

You know, and then how would that have affected what she did, let alone the resale value, you know? I mean, so even that versus it's like, Oh, my specialty is I'm great at, um, providing an atmosphere for people, bringing them together, creating food and drink that they want to enjoy. So now let's see what I can do with this restaurant.

this cafe. Instead of being [: 00:28:00

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specific thing that they do. You know, like I usually call it a lead horse. Like you tend to need a lead

horse. thing that people can refer you for the thing that you can be referred on podcasts for like you, you do want one solid thing to be your lead horse. But once, once people can refer you, they know you for that thing, like you're saying, like maybe it's females. hormone health, you know, like maybe it is breath work.

backend of the finances and [: 00:29:00

I totally like coach all the time. I'm talking about mindset. I'm talking about imposter syndrome, talking about the day to day discipline that we need and that we need to let go of. Sometimes I'm talking about productivity. I'm talking about time management. Like I am covering a story. swath of things.

Once people come into my world and they coach with me, but front facing, am I talking about every single one of those things all the time? No, not all the time. Usually I have a lead horse, one specific thing I'm talking about, but I think that that's where people get really nervous choosing a specialty or an expertise or leaning into something because they're like, but I do so much more.

And I'm like, you're still gonna do all that stuff.

levels. And the longer they [: 00:30:00

Like you said, it's really not a one and done consulting situation. It's usually a longer journey. But it's just, yeah, a reminder of people are really struggling to find that expertise or that niche. Like what you choose just tends to be a front facing marketing piece that allows people to refer you. It allows people to say, Hey, I know this gal that specializes in. X. Once people come into your world, don't worry, you're still going to talk about all your things. You're still going to help people with multiple things on multiple levels. But if you can give them something to hang on to, it just does tend to help the momentum in the beginning as far as kind of like referrals and sharing you and, and then allowing you to impact and be seen with more visibility, you know.

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But now you're saying there's even more,

you know, cause we're holistic beings. So why wouldn't we have holistic businesses?

Right.

But it's still easier when we lead with that one special oomph, when we leave with that one special something. Yeah.

And so within your own business and as you've had, cause you started off with zero, now you have three babies, one of them, which is still fairly new,

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how, have you seen that kind of change in your offerings or in like how many times you've been launched?

You know, like the kind of things that you say yes to and no to, and all of that.

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And. Yeah. Sometimes I want to be there to pick them up. Sometimes I want to watch their practices. Um, so, you know, there's a general schedule. I really try to keep for myself, right? I try to keep my hours really minimal and I, I try to keep, all of my time free for all the drop offs and all the pickups, whether I use that time or not.

I try to always keep that free. So I started that many, many years ago, knowing that that was the schedule I wanted. So I kind of started training myself and my clients to know that, like, listen, I'm, I'm not available after one to 2 PM, right? Like I am totally shut off. Like I trained myself to only look at my emails once a week.

get me over Voxer like every [: 00:33:00

I'm like, this is what my schedule looks like. Just so they know, like. So what does that actually look like? Like, so what are, what are you doing in those hours? Like how many calls do you have? When do you have calls? Right. And so I'm, I'm really open about the way that I do it, but I make sure that I am not overextending myself when I am physically depleted.

tle bit more breathing room. [: 00:34:00

And, uh, she sleeps through the night and it's just a little bit of a different season now, like we're stepping into this new season where we have like toddlers and kids and it frees up some time for us. And like, so like my pickleball game is getting way better because I am playing way more hours of pickleball.

c about when I do kind of my [: 00:35:00

So I think that like. The earlier you know what kind of schedule that you want and like how you want to build that, like I knew I only wanted calls one day a week because I wanted every other day to be free in case I needed to not do content planning and go on the field trip. Or I had a friend in town and I wanted to have lunch and wine for three hours.

anyone listening right now, [: 00:36:00

They probably could already say, yeah, that's the dream schedule. But, and, and my job is to come in and say, but we can build that. Let's talk about it.

It may not be tomorrow. And it's not about just boundaries. It's about strategically looking at your business and saying, how do we build this out? So it works with me and the dream schedule and the dream income, right?

Cause that might mean, well, do you need a digital product? Well, do we need to make this a group program? Do we need to have one on one clients in a different capacity? Like. And, and that's why I, I'm really transparent about showing people the way my business works when they become clients of mine, because I'm like, dude, like, I'll just tell you how my business works.

has been really crucial for [: 00:37:00

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Right. You know, cause those are very different levels of support.

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got it.

Cause that's a big part of the conversation as you, like I'm saying, I only check my emails once a week, but I also have an assistant who will come in and she'll pop into my emails every day to just make sure if there's anything ever hurt. Urgent or an emergency, she can raise her hand and let me know.

I, I don't look at my email, [: 00:38:00

And so that's, so I have like a fail safe built in there, right? Like, and if, that's the life that you want, you know, is it worth paying the assistant for 30 minutes a day to come in and to check that and manage those things for you? So I do your. Absolutely. Right. I have the automations and the systems now built to support the schedule and the structure that I want.

You know?

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you don't have to go, well, this is my dream schedule. So now let me just do it all instantly. Or I failed.

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Because every, because when we think, we think it's the dream, a lot of times it's like

dream and you really want to [: 00:39:00

piece of that that was the dream, but Ooh, not that whole thing. So let me optimize that a little bit or let me pivot, you know?

So it's a, you're right. It's about expectations of knowing that you are building towards a dream. Your job is to start saying yes to listening to your gut a little bit more to, to, to To understand how to strategically evaluate decisions quickly and then commit and like a trial run, usually I say between one to three months and then see how that works out.

You know, like it's, it's a process that you gradually refine over time.

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Let's see what this is like.

Right. And, you know, and, and also to make sure that everybody heard this part, she said she only has the client facing parts once a week, not only works once a week.

So the other days are the behind the scenes. You know, it's the parts where it's like, well, what content needs to happen?

What programs need to happen? What curriculum needs to be made? You know, what, what conversations need to happen to make sure that future income is, is, you know, going along what schedules need to happen. All of that stuff still happens. It doesn't all get crammed into a Wednesday.

That's just the days for the external one on one FaceTime pouring into, in her case, coaching clients, right?

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But I also know there's areas for improvement externally and internally, and I'm always. Open to those. I mean, I sit with my husband like once a week and like, we're like, let's talk about the business. Like this thing went sideways by Thursday, didn't it? You know, like, or like, man, that thing on Monday really tripped me up and it made me slow the whole week.

actually needs to change? so [: 00:42:00

Like we were all stumbling and making mistakes. And yes, I do have a schedule I love that's beautiful. But, you know, I am still having conversations with my own parenting coaches and therapists being like, I'm, I overwork and I'm not with my kids enough. And when I'm with them, I'm not present. And so I'm still having all of those conversations.

the fact that I wrestle with [: 00:43:00

Am I being present enough with my kids? Am I spending the right amount of time? Do I love my business? Am I showing up for my clients? Like I'm always asking those questions. Like my job is not to get caught up in those questions and love the fact that that's just always going to be something I overanalyze and, put on the table to kind of sort through and ask and then make peace with it and be like, Oh, look at, you know, Your little brain, Kelsey, is just going on overdrive, trying to solve all the world's problems in three minutes.

Like you have control over everything. And then I get to take a step back and I'm luckily surrounded by a lot of friends and family and, people on my team and my husband who are like, okay, and now we're going to stop and we're going to breathe. We're going to be happy with where we are. Just going to enjoy the moment and we're going to like, move on, you know?

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you know, which are great pieces. And not everybody might have like a partner that they can talk to about it. Some people have those boundaries that the partner's like, Nope, you know, not the health. We talked to, but you can find a business bestie, you know, you can hire somebody to talk to, you know, you can find a way because we can't keep all of this in ourselves and in our heads,

you know, most businesses have tons of different departments and humans that make up their business. And we just have this part of our brain and that part of our brain and this little part of our heart and that part of our heart, you know, in this tier and that tier, you know, that make up all the different pieces.

So we do need something external to go through that. And, you know, I'm, I mean, the way that you described like you guys like sitting there once, once a week, I was like, Oh, that's so sweet. You know, but it's also okay that that doesn't work for everybody, but it's

finding a way. To do that, you know, and, and to do that for yourself and to get that release.

Right.

So that, that [: 00:45:00

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And that's why people like you and people like me that can hold that space as coaches for other people is really important as well. So that people don't feel like they're going through it alone. So they can come to people like you or people like me and be like, dude, this was a hard week in business.

Like what went sideways for me? And be able to talk through that and bounce that off of somebody. It doesn't have to be your partner. Sometimes it actually shouldn't be your partner. Sometimes that is the worst person for it to be, you know, like. my partner happens to be in like year 10 of this business with me.

to be your partner, but find [: 00:46:00

And I do think that there's a place for. As someone that's a business bestie, there's a place for someone who's, maybe not as far as you are that you can mentor a little bit out of just kindness and connection. And I do think there needs to be a place for someone who is further ahead than you, whether that is a coach you hire or a business bestie that is a couple steps ahead of you.

You should have also have that voice that you can connect with and talk with as well, you know?

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you know, and then of course having the person who's been through it to lean on, right.

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So for the people who do want to keep hearing your advice. How can they do that with, with their little earbuds and listen to you all the time?

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much for like

having me on and just chatting with me. you're so easy to talk to, so this is so

fun.

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Instagram posts was maybe in: 2020

while, it's been a while, [: 00:48:00

So if you want, you can come find me there. I'm just Kelsey Murphy on Instagram.

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Yes. But I I, love all that.

And we will have all of those links for everyone. And thank you again for being here.

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